Hitman - Agent 47

Friday 28th August 20:50

Now, I understand the difference between video game narrative and film narrative.  Especially with a franchise that allows you to tackle scenarios in multiple ways, guns blazing, super stealth, somewhere in between or my usual super stealthy until I mess up and then i take everyone out! EVERYONE! and the restart.

The history of video game based movies is tarnished at best, and for me this is mainly down to the player experience.  Recently, Hitman Absolution was one of my favourite games, not leaving my console for a  good month or two, replaying levels to get a more perfect route than the last.  The story line that came with the game play was movie-like, but not a movie.

When games are transferred to the big screen for a feature film, this is where they lose all connection and just become mindless pictures on screen, and when you throw in possibly one of the worst actresses I have seen on film since Hermoine Granger, the possible savior of the stained genre film was going nowhere.

Now don't get me wrong, I think the Vorhees-esque (always walking but keeping up with runners) Hitman at the start of the film was menacing.  A cold blooded killer with a contract, but this slowly (in fact, quite quickly) deteriorated into an absolute monstrosity.

I will not even bore you with the story line as it is pretty pointless, generic and run-of-the-mill, but if you want to see some of the worst acting ever, then Hannah Ware is perfect.  Every line she delivered must have been read straight from the dull script, so wooden and monotonous.  She infuriated me every time she was on screen.  I have a new contender for the Hermoine Granger school of acting award.

All I can say is, if you are a fan on the game franchise then avoid this film, if you are not a fan of the franchise, then avoid this film, if you know of anyone who has enjoyed this film, then simply avoid them too.