Star Wars Episode VII : The Force Awakens

December 17th 2015 - Bolton - 00:05

Grauman's Chinese Theatre, LA, 1977.  Thousands of unaware fans lined up around the block to watch a new benchmark in cinematic history.  What they encountered was visual effects that rivalled anything they had seen before.  Mind's were blown away by what they had seen and the adventure that accompanied them spoke to the hearts of millions

Cineworld, Bolton, 2015.  With every seat taken and extra screens opened for the midnight screening of the next episode in the franchise that had been tarnished more than blessed, I sat in the midst of Star Wars t-shirts, hoodies and two guys who had taken it a little too far, thinking to myself....."Help us obi JJ Kenobi, you're our only hope".  I can say that just over two hours later I knew how the 1977 queuing masses felt, I had just been blown away by visual beauty, stunned by dog fights of mesmeric wonder, witnessed an adventure that had heart but I also had a sense that through all the nostalgia it seemed ever so familiar.  In fact, with hidden plans, super bases and helmeted villains it seemed very familiar indeed.

I am not one to give away any spoilers, and feel that Episode VII is something that most of the population will get some great enjoyment out of, so talking about the plot will be for another reviewer to do, for me this film was either going to go two ways

The way of the Jedi - realising what captured the imaginations of all the people who love and grew up with the original trilogy.  Understanding that fancy green screen effects and shiny CGI holds nothing without character and emotional connection.  Effects are there to increase the world's environment not to be the focal point.  In 1977, although the effects ILM created were mindbogglingly amazing for the time, they were limited and only used when necessary

The way of the Menace - back in 1999, just after Lucas had decided to butcher the original trilogy for the first time, I queued for the midnight screening of the phantom menace.  I remember leaving confused.  I should have loved it, but what was it about...and why? Plastic characters already resembling their Kenner counterparts, no depth and the most confusing and convoluted plot. Little thought put into story and characters. Instead of blowing me away, I felt like I had watched a cartoon.

The Force Awakens cannot hide from the fact that it is an almost replica of the first two film combined.  Note for note copies of plot points, character motivations and even a cantina (although missing a favourite amputee).  Yet, it has it's extra slices of brilliance thrown in for good measure.

I was fearful of the main character having attended the Hayden Christian School of acting as her first scene followed two acting greats Max Von Sydow and Oscar Isaac and she really didn't not hold up, but as the film progressed I slowly began to forgive her and as the character grew so did my compassion for her.

Thankfully, all though not perfect, JJ has created something magical again.  Reinvigorating the love of Star Wars that has always been with me but reliant on the strength of the first (chronologically) two and a half films. Thankfully there are now three and a half great Star Wars films, which put them in the majority!

Krampus

10 December 2015 - Bolton - 16:10

My wife asked me recently what films I would like to watch this Christmas on the run up to the festive day?  Thinking of the obvious ones like Muppets Christmas Carol, Elf, Home Alone, It's a Wonderful life etc, I discounted them and thought of the more traditional.  Die Hard 1 & 2 and Gremlins.

Gremlins is a fantastic Christmas film and one worth a watch every year.  It combines comedy, horror and festive times all into one nostalgic classic.  So imagine my surprise to see a new horror festive comedy hitting the screens this Christmas, Krampus.

When a young boy loses his belief a few days before Christmas due to family issues and the in-laws from Hell, a frozen desert descends upon his sleepy town isolating the feuding family from the rest of society.  What they originally think as a freak storm turns out to be an increasing nightmare of Anti-Christmas, CG filled torment.

What it fails to do primarily is give you character to like so the terror they are facing is "terrible".  I cannot say I actually cared about any of the family, possibly Omi, but she had a dark past that made her unbearable too.

The creatures that bring forth Krampus, doing his dirty work before he arrives, are laughably rubbish.  The Gingerbread trio look like something out of a Warner Brother Cartoon and should be battling Wile Coyote rather than in a mainstream film.  

That aside, there are some practical effects in the film as well, mainly the Krampus character, when not leaping from roof to roof.  However, this just makes it stand out more against the cartoon-esque harbingers.

I think I will be sticking to the Joe Dante Christmas this year for my Crimbo Horror Comedy film

The Lady in the Van

5th December 2015 - Bolton - 15:20

Knowing little of Alan Bennett, but a big fan of Maggie Smith, I wanted to see this adaption of the play and book as soon as I saw the trailer.

Quintessentially British through and through, The Lady in the Van is a beautiful story of some true nature.  When the transient Mrs Shepherd parks her van on the playwrights driveway after being threatened by the council, what follows is 15 years of cantankerous behaviour and a friendship of bizarre qualities

This needs to be an oscar nomination for both Maggie Smith and Alex Jennings as two Alan Bennetts.  Both parts play off each other perfectly and I found myself laughing and smiling along with the unfolding story.  Nothing much happens for the full running time, but the characters on screen are engaging.  Even side characters such as the residents of the street who all become fond of Mrs Shepherd, despite her constant abuse, or the social worker assigned to helping her are all very entertaining

For someone who is unfamiliar with the stage play, book or pretty much anything Bennett, the Lady in the Van had little new to offer, the finale was obvious and the story in between tick all the same tropes.  What this film had to offer though was character and charm, a charm that brings you along for the ride (or park as it may be) and entertains you throughout,

The Good Dinosaur (3D)

Saturday 28th November -Leigh - 18:40

It had been a busy little November for the right and wrong reasons so my cinema visits had been cut short, so short that in the final few days of the month, I still hadn't been to the silver screen

To be honest, there was not much that had tickled my fancy, so missing out was not really a big thing.  I knew I would be making up for it in December with a little cult film called Star Wars coming out...you may have heard of it?

So I packed Clare off the the in-laws and settled her in for a night of Strictly Come Dancing and the X-Factor and headed of to my local world of Cine for the next Pixar installment, The Good Dinosaur.

Thankfully, most of the kids were also snuggled at home watching car crash TV so the screen was occupied by the more elderly than the chaotic.

When Arlo is separated from his father. in a very similar style to Mustapha and Simba in the Lion King, he must team up with caveboy Spot in order to make it back home to his family.  Perilous challenges await him on his journey back and he must put aside the fear he once had and become brave and strong like his father.

When I say perilous, I really mean perilous.  There are a fair few gruesome villains, treacherous situations and real life or death encounters for Arlo and Spot, ones that a younger Pixar loving viewer may be petrified to watch.  The story is run of the mill Disney and borrows a lot from previous installments bringing very little new to the adventure, but I still had fun with it.  One scene involving prairie dogs had me chortling out loud, but there are a fair few moment bereft of laughter that is accustomed with Pixar Films.

This is no where near the same standard as Toy Story 2, Wall-E or more recently Inside Out, but it is still far more entertaining that most of the drivel coming out at the moment.  Hence the slow cinema month.

The Last Witch Hunter

2nd November 12:20 - Bolton

With a video game feel and over the top action, TLW is a film you can watch without really watching or noticing it's there....unfortunately, I was sat in the cinema not pottering about at home.

Vin Diesel brings his acting power class, grumbling his lines through another franchise wannabe.  This time joined by Micheal "phone it in" Caine and Harry "Radcliffe" Potter as his new protege.  When a witch queen is killed by Mr Diesel in some far forgotten time, he is cursed to forever walk the earth.  He devotes all this time to becoming a witch hunter who cannot die, hence him being the last.  When strange magic is afoot, he must recruit his young protege and reluctant wicker to help in the battle of evil.

There is nothing new about this film, everything has been seen, done and done again, but again there is nothing wrong with it.  It is a film that you can forget about almost immediately, a film that can be merged into multiple other films so that you actually forget what you watched.

Michael Caine spends most of the film in a state of coma and the times when he is awake do not feel much different.  Mr Potter's character is obviously indecent from the start, but the films holds off till the climax for a big reveal.  I could say that this is a spoiler, but the film does that itself!

Spectre

Saturday 31st October: Leigh: 19:00

Everyone's favourite serial rapist and alcoholic is back, and this time it is his destiny

After the enjoyable Spkyfall, although it's ridiculous Home Alone style ending, and all the hype surrounding Bond's new adventure I was eagerly waiting what lay ahead.  Gratuitous product placement, over the top villains and henchmen and frikkin sharks with frikkin laser beams.

The opening scene in Mexico is awesome, straight to the point and with an aerial stunt show that was truly breathtaking....then it all just kind of stopped, slowed right down and then that was it for another 2 hours, just nothing.

The Daniel Craig Bond series has all been leading to this, everything that has happened has been orchestrated by one person.  All the villains he has encountered have all been pawns in Blofeld Oberhauser's main plan of revenge.  I'm sorry, but what happened to the classic style of Bond going doing a mission with an over the top bad guy and his ridiculous henchmen, elaborate ways of torture and non-connective story lines?  Why does it all have to be destiny and foreshadowing? Bond is about a mission to stop world domination from a maniacal badguy that has plans to destroy the world's gold or cornering the market of microchips, with henchmen that are ridiculous yet brilliant, a man with a razor sharp hat, razor teeth, or so little they can hide in boxes.

Dave Bautista henchman enters the room as a formidable force and is quickly subject to a slow/fast car chase scene through the streets of Rome, he then keeps turning up time after time at Bond's heels and offers serious threat.  He is underutilised throughout the film, he could have been this series' answer to Odd Job or Jaws.

I was sat in a full audience at Cineworld Leigh and next to me was a pure Bond fan, he whooped at the references to bonds of old and hollered at new gadgets added to the arsenal but when the big reveal happened, the one that no one expected, his gasp of shock and awe could have been heard in cinema's across the land.  I felt like turning to him at this point and saying, "You are obviously a Bond fan, was this "reveal" not evident to you from the very beginning, even from the trailer you obviously watched to get you here!?", it is the worst shock reveal since Khan.  I laughed at the ridiculousness of it all, I'm sorry, I am a mediocre fan, I have enjoyed Bond through the ages, but I saw that coming months and months ago so it was hardly a shock!

Spectre seems to have all the fanboys and license to kill bias on it's side and I feel that I will be in the minority for not liking this film, but I am happy to stay in this minority.  There are far more enjoyable films out there with similar styles that just do it better.

Let me just put this out there, after an opening aerial spectacular our loveable hero must go rogue to stop a rouge nation of criminals from causing destruction around the planet.  He must team up with his computer geek and technical wizard colleague and a mysterious women with hidden agenda.  All sound a little familiar? The only difference is, this one was a fun and enjoyable romp, whereas Spectre was just a little dull.





It is always a boost of ego when someone else notices a similar trend and reports on it.
I watch a few movie reviewers on youtube and Schmoes Know said pretty much what I said in this review..even including the Mission Impossible connections

Paranormal Activity - The Ghost Dimension (3D)

24th October 2015: 18:40: Leigh

I have to admit something, I watched the original Paranormal Activity before all the hype.  I watched it alone in my apartment, very late at night and it gave me serious chills.  Yes, Katie is a little annoying and not very well acted, but the impact was perfectly fitted to my surroundings.

The subsequent sequels/prequels were not very good at all though - missing the whole idea of the first.  The infamous Paranormal Activity Subwoofer tone gives all the weak jump scares less impact, the reasons behind the protagonists desire to keep filming gets ridiculous and the timeline and continuity gets sillier and sillier.  Yet, here I am, sat in the cinema waiting for the 5th part of the franchise to begin.  I am part of the problem and the reason these films keep getting made, and for that I am truly sorry, and I promise that I will fuel this franchise no more.

It was terrible, the premise is ridiculous, the characters very annoying, the jump scares are weak and obvious, but the main flaw is the over-use of visual effects.  The first film in the franchise uses very little visual effects and lets the viewer imagine their own horror.  The "Toby" character become more and more computer generated until it became laughable.  

At one point at a climactic chase the camera is dropped and one of the fleeing party shouts, "leave the camera, we don't need it".  Even then, the gargantuan, "It's so big", camera is picked up and carried again, obviously causing the runner to be slowed down due to it's huge hindrance.

Again, the Horror Season of films is a real let down and the franchise or jump scare films are taking over!  Bring back real horror films, please!

Back to the Future - Part 3 of the Marathon

October 21st: 10:00pm: Bolton

It was time to go back, back to 1885, we needed to save the Doc!

I had always considered part three of the time travelling trilogy to be the weaker, but watching as a full marathon I appreciated it a lot more than I remembered.   The clever nods to little quips mentioned in the previous two films, like Uncle Joey or the accident with the Rolls Royce and the little homages to the earlier installments such as the repetition of scenes and the railroad model not being to scale.  Back to the Future Part III really holds it's own within the franchise, and in some parts it definitely surpasses the futuristic middle sibling.

The soundtrack is obviously a massive part of the trilogy and Alan Silvestri has a definite style.  Whilst we were watching the previous two installments it was hard not to get excited at the main theme, but little sections of the tense music sounded far too similar to Predator (also composed by Mr Silvestri).  It was great to get a Western twist to the music for the concluding episode, giving the synonymous riffs a Rio Grande composition just added to the style of the film.  Also, throwing ZZ Top into the mix as the performing band at the clock tower gig was a little touch I didn't realise as a younger viewer.

There are a few theories out there about the real reasons behind the BTTF trilogy and I had read one of these just before going in to the marathon.  This theory has further added fuel to the story and given it even more gravitas in my mind, I think I even added more to the hypothesis.

At the start of the trilogy, Marty is at Doc Brown's house plugging in his guitar to the amplifier.  He receives a call from the Doc who indicates that his "experiment worked" as the clocks are 25 minutes slow.  This could mean that Doc Brown has used his time travel machine and carried out a similar experiment similar to the one done with Einstien the dog later that evening.  In this time travel experiment, Doc Brown travels a day into the future and sees he is married with two children to Clara Clayton, but how does he meet her?

The Doc realises that to meet Clara he must first send Marty back to 1955 to inspire his younger self to create a time machine based on his vision.  This would then also allow Marty to break the rules and give him a letter advising to wear a bullet proof vest.  He then must take Marty to the future and show him the shop with the Sports Almanac and then lure Marty away from the Delorean for Biff to take it back in time.  This timeline encourages Marty to go back to 1955 to steal back and destroy the almanac, and thus knowing when lightning would be present sending the Doc back to 1885 in order to meet Clara.  He then needs the components from two time machines to develop the "Time-Train" so sends Marty a message to come back to 1885 with the second Delorean and hoverboard, thus completing the meeting of Clara and giving him the tools to create a vessel to travel beyond.

So, the whole trilogy is a love story about The Doc wanting to meet the love of his life

Heavy!

But one question does remain....how scary is Doc Brown and Clare's son Verne and what is he actually indicating to Marty!!!!

Back to the Future Part 2 of the Marathon

Back to the Future Part II

October 21st 2015: 20:00pm: Bolton

So, the real reason we were all sat in the audience, the reason that Cineworld had opted to show the Back to the Future Trilogy on this specific day.  October 21st 2015, where we're going, we don't need roads!

When I watch Back to the Future Part II back in 1989 I would have been 10 years old. The thought of magical 3D cinema was a red and green bespectacled pipe dream, computer tablet devices that fit in your hand and were completely mobile defied all logic against my Commodore 64 behemoth and with a brother actively into the skateboarding scene (although not very good at it), I could not wait till the launch of Matel's own hoverboards.

With the exception of consumer priced pitt-bulls and hover boards, things seem to have caught up rather well.  Cinema is flooded with the hunt for the next successful franchise, 3D films are gimmicky and colour drained, and people hardly look up any more as they are glued to their iphones and tablets.  The Future depicted in Part II of the trilogy, although it seems pretty wild by today's standards, also looks very familiar.

As we watched the second film unfold and started to notice clever repetitions of scenes and dialogue, hidden gems in the background and foreshadows of what was to come, we could only admire the level of detail Bob Zemeckis, Bob Gale and the supportive team went to in order to create a believable time paradox.  I have seen a few films recently that really struggle to tell a cognitive time travel story without serious flaws like Project Almanac or Terminator Genysis.  

Back to the Future Part II really starts to shine though when Marty goes back to 1955 in order to change the dystopian Biff controlled 1985.  The path crossing, avoiding one's future or past selves and the repetition of scenes from alternate angles is just brilliant.  The original film is expertly done, so to go back to this from another perspective whilst everything is playing out as you remember makes you start to question, did this happen in the original as well just we had an alternate camera angle?




We were two films down and one to go, the weaker cousin of the trilogy, but still a strong finish....let's go back to 1885

Back to the Future - Part 1 of the Marathon

October 21st 2015: 6pm: Bolton

As part of Back to the Future Day, Bolton Cineworld decided to show the full trilogy in all it's glory on the big screen.  As a fan of the films be it nostalgic, sentimental or just because they are great fun, I knew this was something I wanted to be part of.  Thankfully, I was joined on this epic journey by my time travelling companion Rosh (Roshtakular).

There is no point me reviewing BTTF on this blog as if you haven't seen Marty and the Doc's adventures then all I can say is you are definitely missing out on something great from film history.  If you have seen them before, then you don't need me to tell you about them.

Being a fan of the franchise from an early age, I have always had a fascination with the technology and styles from the films.  Notably the Delorean time machine, hover-boards, and multiple Jaws sequels.  Recently at a comicon I got to sit in a Delorean whilst wearing a "Life Vest"  surrounded by movie memorabilia.

Yes it was all replica stuff, but it definitely ticked a box on the bucket list.

Whilst in Los Angeles, Clare and I went to Universal Studios and in particular the Back Lot Studio Tour.  On this tour, we visited Amity Island, The Bates Motel, Wisteria Lane and of course Hill Valley.  Driving down the main town street over shadowed by the infamous Clock Tower one could not help but feel a little privileged to be on this special tour (even though thousands do the same every day).  Clare has since noticed from watching films that the set is used for multiple scenes from a variety of different view points, but she still refers to them as "ooh look, it is the Back to the Future street".

So as you can probably tell, The Back to the Future franchise holds a dear place in my heart. As a film lover and nostalgia fan, it is something that ticks the right boxes.  Thankfully, Mr Zemeckis still holds the rights to this and has refused to ever do a reboot, remake or re-imagining so the films will always remain as a positive nostalgic love rather than a tainted money grab....

Thank you Cineworld for letting our 80's film loving brains be overwhelmed by large silver screened classics such as this and it's sequels and I look forward to the next outing....maybe another marathon from a Galaxy Far Far Away????

Regression

Saturday 17th October 2015: 21:10: Bolton

The Hermoine School of Acting award being done to perfection by it's founder

Regression starts with a title card stating that the following film is "inspired" by true events, and the closing card says, everything was make believe and nonsense.  This is not a plot spoiler as firstly there is no plot to spoil and secondly the dialogue and attempt at a thriller falls short as soon as Emma Watson starts reading her lines (she sure doesn't act)

Ethan Hawk plays the same down beaten detective as we have been accustomed to, and he is dragged into a possible satanical abuse ritualistic case in which a 17 year old girl has been allegedly suspect to foul play.  With rising suspicion of everyone and twists and turns a plenty, Regression should have been at least semi interesting...it wasn't

I found myself becoming aware of how uncomfortable seat J14 was, how much vimto I had left in my drink bottle and wondering how many lights were on in the cinema rather than the ridiculous intrigue on screen.  I stayed with the film till the conclusion hoping for something that I didn't expect from the start, i could have left after 10 minutes and still have experienced the full film.

At least Hermoine showed us she still has it though, the perfect skill of not bothering to act at all and getting away with it.

Monty Python and The Holy Grail

Wednesday 14th October 2015: 20:00 - Bolton

And there was much rejoicing.....

I have always been a fan of Monty Python (last year being a real highlight), and The Holy Grail is a highly quoted film within the cousin community (especially with Bro and Cousin Gill), so imagine how happy I was when Cineworld Bolton announced that they would be showing the sing along version of The Holy Grail.

There is no point me reviewing this film as it is a classic comedy that even if you haven't seen it, you will no doubt know some of the quotes from the film, as there are that many.

I was joined in the audience by a select few (about 30 people) of Python Fans, one who had a guffaw laugh and would preempt each scene with a subtle chortle knowing what lay ahead and then a huge belly laugh at every punchline....annoying as this may sound, it purely added to the whole experience.  Knowing that the silly humour is still great to this day, even though a little outdated and nostalgic.

There were no audience members under the age of 35 though, which is a sad thing.  Are the younger generation discounting Monty Python as just a bunch of fuddy duddy old dudes and regarding them as out-of-touch...or am I reading too much into this?

My one gripe is with Cineworld Bolton themselves.  The subtitles and lyrics where not displayed correctly...or at all, as they were cut from the bottom of the screen.  I knew they were there because you could just see the tops of the letters, but that was it.  One of the initial jokes is to do with the "people responsible for the subtitles being sacked" but as the previous subtitles where not clearly seen this was just a nostalgic giggle for those that remembered what they actually said from previous home viewings.

Great to see The Holy Grail on the big screen

The Martian (3D) Unlimited Preview

Sunday 27th September 2015: 19:45: Bolton

As the title sequence faded in over the Red Planet horizon and the letters of "The Martian" appeared in slow sequence I knew I was in good hands.  The poster for Ridley Scott's most recent film prefixed it with the words "From the Director of Gladiator and Prometheus", for me it would have been sold better as "From the Director of Alien and BladeRunner", but some of the audience have forgotten anything pre 1999

The survival adventure kicks off pretty much in the first few minutes of the film as Matt Damon's Mark Watney is left for dead on the surface of Mars after a monstrous storm calls an end to Ares III's mission.  Mark is left to fend for himself hoping that NASA will send someone to rescue him or he must find a way to survive until the next mission turns up (and also make it halfway across the planet to the new landing site)

The Martian is the most entertaining film I have seen this year, and possibly for a good while.  Very interesting, immensely funny and nail biting tense moments are perfectly sectioned.  Each scientific experiment is narrated (via videolog) by Matt Damon and they are explained as if he is doing a documentary giving the audience the right scale of science mumbo jumbo and layman terms.

I watched the film in 3D as this was how the Unlimited Screening was being shown, however, I think this was completely unnecessary.  All the 3D screening did was dull the colour and annoy me, so if I do get chance to watch this again with Clare it will definitely be the 2D version

The Martian is highly recommended and is a must see at the cinema this year

Miss You Already

26th September 2015: Leigh

Life long friends who have shared everything from kisses, substances and everything life has to offer struggle to discuss an important change in their lives

I was expecting a overly-sentimental film that just tugged at the heartstrings by a "paint-by-number" style, bur Miss You Already was very well acted and a thoroughly entertaining look at life dealing with cancer and struggling to conceive a first child.

When Toni Collete's Millie is diagnosed with breast cancer, her life is turned upside down and she goes on a self destructive journey joined by Drew Barrymore who has recently found out that after multiple attempts she is pregnant.  How can Drew tell her friend the happy news when things have gone so wrong so quickly?

With all the Young Adult films coming out at the moment dealing with the big C (Me, Earl and the Dying Girl, The Fault in our Stars), I was expecting this to follow the same sort of path.  Miss You Already takes a more adult look at the disease and the effects it has on family life and how to tell kids that mummy won't be around much longer.

This isn't a film I would rush to see again, but I am glad I got to see it

Sicario

23rd September 2015: Leigh: 20:15

I was unsure what to expect going in to watch Sicario, I had seen the trailer and it looked interesting, but if asked what it was about I would give a few words not a synopsis.  Mexico, Cartels, Drugs and Benicio Del Torro.....

Sicario is a slow burning film, Kate (Emily Blunt) is recognised by a shadowy section of the DOD as doing a great job busting low level drug cartel operations and is recruited in an aim to take down the Jefe.  Josh Brolin and Benicio Del Torro head this team that operates outside the jurisdiction Kate is accustomed to.  How far beyond the law must you go to really make a difference?

There are some really tense and thrilling scenes, but they are in between some long, drawn out sequences.  I appreciate that these were intended to build tension and intrigue and some of them did, but at a minute over 2 hours, I felt like there was a lot of filler.  Don't get me wrong, some of the lasting aerial shots over Mexico and the silhouetted tactical team shots were stunning.

One scene near the start during a traffic jam on the way back to America over the Mexico Border is brilliant, and I think this raised the bar to a level that, unfortunately, was not reached again throughout the rest of the film

Benicio Del Torro is excellent as a questionable member of the team, with unknown origins and suspicious activity, he steals the show.

I have mixed feelings about Sicario, stunning, tense, but also slow and plodding in sections. One character arch made me think of Austin Powers with the phone call to henchmen families explaining that they had been killed at work. I questioned why he was in the film as he must have a bigger part to play....and he didn't.

Everest (3D)

20th September 2015 - 10:40am - Bolton

 I can honestly say, that after watching Everest, that Climbing this infamous mountain will never be on a bucket list of mine!

Based on a true story about the 1994 expedition lead by Rob Hall of Adventure Consultants. A group of mountaineers and enthusiasts take on the climb to the summit but a perfect storm threatens their descent.  Everest takes the viewer on a journey with the explorers through the journey to base camp and upwards to the peak, through the varying, unpredictable weather conditions and across very dodgy rope and ladder set ups that you would question at much lower heights and not expect to be traversing bottomless caverns. It is an emotional journey as one would expect, when you find out at the start of the film that Keira Knightley's role is pregnant you can only expect heart strings to be yanked.

My only critisisms with the film primarily with the pacing which seems to take you on the full journey from the airport to base camp through villages of increasing altitude and monestry enroute and then skips forward missing much of the camp 1 and camp 2 expeditions.  It feels as though there have been some heavy edits to reduce down run time, either that or nothing much happened in those camps and the director just thought to skip them. Secondly, with the weather conditions becoming more and more severe the higher the altitude the intrepid climbers wear more and more clothing, masks, eye covers and big jackets which in turn makes it harder to distinguish who is who, it just looks like a Teletubbie outing.  When any incident happens, I was unsure who it was happening too and just had to remember coat colours in the end, characters became known to me as Tinky Winky, La La, Po and Jake Gylenhaal (because he had a funky hat on he was easier to spot).

Knowing this was a true story gave the film more gravitas to the treacherous journey, but with the big names involved (Josh Brolin, Jake Gylenhaal, Jason Clarke) it left you with a sense of wonder, are these people going to make it back down or are they destined to remain a permanent resident of Everest?

Everest was full of amazing vistas and heart stopping moments, in one scene involving a helicopter and thin air, I think I stopped breathing for a good five minutes.  One thing is for sure, I felt like I climbed the mountain with them and have no intentions of doing it for myself.

The Visit

15th September 2015: 21:15 Leigh

Hailed as the new Stephen Speilberg in 1999 after the successful "The Sixth Sense", M Night Shyamalan's films got considerably worse until his name became a laughing matter.  His films have a twist ending that everyone now expects so isn't that much of a twist anymore.The Visit is a self funded (using the money from his work on After Earth) film that M Night hoped for distribution to which the jump scare loving Blumhouse took on.  The combination of these two names put fears in me straight away, but not good fears.  Bloomhouse with their generic jump scare horror films and Shyamalan with his daft characters and twist endings, surely this would be terrible.

How wrong I was.

When a young single mother sends her two children for a week retreat to their grandparents, who they never met due to a family argument, Becca and Tyler aim to create a documentary on the old folks to give back what their mother may be missing.  Replacing ghosts, aliens and bad acting with scary grandparents who seemingly change personalities as the sun goes down, The Visit is a horror film with a difference.   

I found myself laughing many times throughout the film, mainly at the young lad Tyler who decides to use popular female popstars as swear words, making very funny comments in replacement of fear, and I wasn't alone.  There were many occasions that the audience laughed with me, and really laughed.

There are moments of genuine suspense and scares as well, crawling around under the house playing hide and seek, scratching outside the bedroom door which is revealed to be a birthday suited Nanna and surprise secret camera's, all worthy of a good horror film.

I can genuinely say that after years of being connected to a series of terrible films, Mr Shyamalan has produced an essence of brilliance.  One I can recommend to not just horror fans, but people who like a good film.

The ending is a little over the top, but I can live with it as the way it is set up is very well done.....and not that much of a signature twist.

Becca and Tyler are brilliantly portrayed by the young actors and at moments of heartfelt sadness, Becca really shines through.  Some of the Tyler jokes seem a little too soon, taking away a lot of the tension, but you can see why a young lad would make such quips.

No Escape

5th September 2015 - 20:45 - Leigh

Clare and I went to Tunisia back in 2013, mainly to go visit the set of Star Wars, but also to have a little holiday.  Whilst there, on one of our excursions we found ourselves in the middle of a full scale riot in the centre of town.  Luckily, the local shop keepers provided refuge until our taxi driving saviour appeared.  We later found out, whilst under house arrest at our hotel, that a state official had been assassinated and the locals were out for blood!

Also, a week after we had come back from Carnack Temple in Egypt, four lunatics had decided to try to level the temple using C4.  Luckily, we were safe at home and the security had put a stop to their ploy before any damage could be done.

The reason I mention these events is down to the fact that after watching "No Escape", I am not going on holiday again!

Owen Wilson and his family are relocating to a country called Asia (the country is never fully disclosed and referred to as Asia in every conversation) due to the water company he is working for expanding into the province.  On arrival he notices that his mobile phone, land line telephone, television, internet and all forms of communication seem to be down.  Thinking this is just down to them moving to a 4th world country, they put it to the back of their mind and carry on hoping things will be better in the morning.  Jack (Owen Wilson) goes to the local market to see if he can get a paper when the atmosphere in the town changes.  With masked rioters on one side and armed police on the other, he races back to the hotel to protect his wife and 2 daughters, only to notice that the rebels are killing tourists.  What follows is 2 hours of intense, nerve shredding and nail biting tension.

There are no subtitles in the film, so your understanding of what is happening only comes as Owen Wilson and his family get a vague idea.  There seems no escape for the family, no pun intended, and with current events happening in the world today, this seems as though this could happen in any city anywhere and anytime.

I thoroughly enjoyed No Escape, Owen Wilson was very good, his two kids (although not very well scripted) added a great amount on tension in two very memorable scenes and Pierce Brosnan as the retired old James Bond, was great as a tension relief but also as the one bit of resilience.

Disclaimer: I know I said at the start that I am not going on holiday again....i will be

Trainwreck

31st August 2015 at 10:45, Bolton

I had been told by a couple of good friends how funny Trainwreck was, so I could not help but be a little apprehensive before entering the cinema.  Would it pass the 6 laugh test? Why was it so funny? 

With an unlikeable main character and dull and uninteresting love interest, Trainwreck didn't have much going for it for me.  

Amy and her sister are given a motto at an early age by their cheating father, "Monogomy isn't realistic".  One sister (Amy) takes this motto on and lives by it well into her 30's, whilst the younger sister decides to ignore this and marries a happy go-lucky, slightly weird chap with an intelligent kid.  The film pokes fun at this family with respect of Amy's views. (The film is seen from Amy's perspective, with her relationship hating persona.  

Now, don't get me wrong, both Clare enjoyed the film, but for me it barely scraped towards the 6 laugh threshold sneaking in a good belly laugh near the conclusion involving a trampoline and a basketball net, but the raucous laughfest I was expecting never arrived. 

When we left the cinema our usual talk about the film we had just seen didn't happen, we had forgotten it by the lobby.  I am sure in the right crowd with a few tipples, Trainwreck could be a good giggle on DVD, but for me it was a little bit of a self titular film.

Am I getting old?

Oh, I loved the Matthew Broderick cameo and think the Lebron James was great, see, there were some good bits in it

....and one more thing, if you are going to make a chick flick and make us guys take our good ladies to see these films, they need a little eye candy...Amy Schumer.....far from Rachel Lee Cook!

Hitman - Agent 47

Friday 28th August 20:50

Now, I understand the difference between video game narrative and film narrative.  Especially with a franchise that allows you to tackle scenarios in multiple ways, guns blazing, super stealth, somewhere in between or my usual super stealthy until I mess up and then i take everyone out! EVERYONE! and the restart.

The history of video game based movies is tarnished at best, and for me this is mainly down to the player experience.  Recently, Hitman Absolution was one of my favourite games, not leaving my console for a  good month or two, replaying levels to get a more perfect route than the last.  The story line that came with the game play was movie-like, but not a movie.

When games are transferred to the big screen for a feature film, this is where they lose all connection and just become mindless pictures on screen, and when you throw in possibly one of the worst actresses I have seen on film since Hermoine Granger, the possible savior of the stained genre film was going nowhere.

Now don't get me wrong, I think the Vorhees-esque (always walking but keeping up with runners) Hitman at the start of the film was menacing.  A cold blooded killer with a contract, but this slowly (in fact, quite quickly) deteriorated into an absolute monstrosity.

I will not even bore you with the story line as it is pretty pointless, generic and run-of-the-mill, but if you want to see some of the worst acting ever, then Hannah Ware is perfect.  Every line she delivered must have been read straight from the dull script, so wooden and monotonous.  She infuriated me every time she was on screen.  I have a new contender for the Hermoine Granger school of acting award.

All I can say is, if you are a fan on the game franchise then avoid this film, if you are not a fan of the franchise, then avoid this film, if you know of anyone who has enjoyed this film, then simply avoid them too.

Inside Out

Saturday 22nd August at 17:10

Who is the leader in your mind?

I had heard many reviews about how "Inside Out" was Pixar's greatest achievement since Toy Story 3, this was a big claim for it to live up to.

We are introduced to Riley on her very first day on this mortal coil, and Joy is introduced into her mind as she lays eyes on her mother and father.  It is then the key role of Joy to bring happiness to Riley for the rest of her life.  Suddenly she starts to cry, as Joy turns, another fellow has joined her in the main HQ, Sadness.  As her life progresses, other head quarter personnel appear, Anger, Disgust and Fear all with their respective characteristics.

This was a great look into how a mind functions from a creative point of view.  Riley's mother's mind is lead by Sadness, her Dad's by Anger.  The leader of each mind is indicative of the main personality trait of the human, but each emotion has an integral part to play.

The adventure begins when Joy is separated from the Main HQ and put into the reserves with Sadness, they must find a way back before everything goes wrong for Riley.

When Clare and I left the cinema we started to talk about which emotion was prominent in our minds, mine obviously Joy.  This is how films should be, you leave with a thought about the film, applying it to real life, understanding how the mind works by simple measures.  Inside Out is a very clever film, but lacking in the laughs of previous Pixar films.  There were a few smirks, giggles and one possible chortle, but no belly laughs or guffaw's.

Beautiful with colour and vibrancy this is everything a Pixar Movie should be, far better than some of the recent releases but far from the Toy Story or Up status.  The beginning sequence of Up is one of the best opening sequences in film history.

I am unsure how kids will take this film with it's neurological substance, but as it looks colourful and has great, entertaining characters I can see it getting away with it.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E

Saturday 15th August at 20:30

Style over substance?

I like the original Guy Richie films, Snatch being one of my all time favourite films, but of late Mr Ritchie has seemed a little off form.  As well, I recall many a Friday night at my substitute Grandad George's house watching re-runs of the classic spy tv show U.N.C.L.E.  I loved Robert Vaughn and David McCallum in their roles, so I had a little background going into this film

The one thing that stands out in this re-invigoration is the style.  Be it from the occasional Ritchie camera flair that he has, the excellent soundtrack or the sheer beauty of the fashion portrayed, the film just has pazazz.  As I left the cinema though, I had completely forgotten what I had watched.  I enjoyed the two hours of entertainment but it was not memorable or inspiring at all, which is why it has taken me over a week to write the review, I was just not inspired to do so.

There are some fun scenes, and then there are the ones that start great but drag on far too long. There is also a little trope used where a scene will play out and then it will go back to a pinnacle point from a different perspective and show how a scam or event played out from our heroes point of view. The first time this is used it is quirky and fun, by the umpteenth time it is just a ploy to engineer easy plot points and becomes tedious.  It got to the point where I was expecting a "repeat shot" and the surprise element had gone.

The plot is very bland and I can honestly say, I can't really remember much about it.  There was a billionaire and a girl who had married into the family with heinous ambitions, but that is about it.

Alicia Vikander is stunning and fits the era very well, Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer play the agents of U.N.C.L.E with flair, but it all lacks pretty much everything else.

I think Armie should start to avoid the 1960's TV show re-imaginings as they are not working out too well for him at the moment.

And why does it always have to be franchises at the moment? Always with origins leading to a franchise!

Mission - Impossible: Rouge Nation

2nd August 2015 - 19:30

Ethan Hunt goes rogue again and bands together a rag-bag team to tackle another world changing problem, all he was short of this time was Vin Diesel and The Rock!

I must admit, the MI franchise is little hit and miss with me, I think the first Cruise outing is very slow, entertaining but slow,  The Woo-Mask changing -Super hero-Dove Flying part two is bizarre, MI:III I have little memory of, and then there is the Dubai Sandstorm MI:IV which I thoroughly enjoyed.  I was looking forward to this one though based on the trailers, more Benji, More Ving and loads more action.

With the syndicate, "an Anti-IMF" threatening global chaos, Ethan Hunt (who is thought to be making the syndicate up to justify the IMF) goes rogue and recruits the old faithfuls (from the last two films) to try and bring down the threat.  Joined this time by double-double crosser Isla Faust (Rebecca Ferguson)

There are a few great action sequences, and the plane bit from the trailer is not a major plot spoiler.  Once car/bike chase sequence is very entertaining, however it does rely a little too heavy on CGI at one point which really stands out and looks ridiculous.  Ethan Hunt is a little indestructible in this film as he takes a few scrapes too many to survive, yet gets up and doesn't have a scratch on him, but hey-ho, it is MI.

The "Heist" is entertaining and suspenseful, but ruined by the trailer....and I was left questioning, "how do normal staff change the cards in the server?" 

I left the cinema fulfilled with great entertainment and would happily watch MI:V Rouge Nation again, it seems like the franchise is going a little Fast and Furious now and I can only see a collaboration of Dom's rag-tag team and Ethan's Rogue Agents as the future project.

Southpaw

1st August 2015: Bolton: 17:40

Apparently Jake Gyllenhaal is in Southpaw at some point, I only saw Billy "The Great" Hope.

Southpaw is a film about loss, lows and the climb back to the top.  When tradegy hits the hope family and Billy Hope hits rock bottom, his daughter (fantastically acted by Oona Laurence) wants nothing to do with him and is put into child services.  Billy turns to an old coach to help him refocus his life, train and get back his daughter and the passion in his heart.

It is a very cliched film that you can guess what is going to happen from the very start, but this does not devalue the emotional ride that Southpaw is.  Superbly acted by all the main cast (not including 50 cent), you feel for the characters and want their lives to get back in order.  Billy Hope has a resemblance of Jake Gyllenhaal but with a serious pre-film workout.  Muscles upon muscles.  His emotional outbreaks are real heartfelt moments and you feel justified with his character.  Oona Laurence nearly steals the show though, as a child actor she really ups the game, being the stronger in the father and daughter relationship .

**** My Advice - do not watch the trailer *****

The training montage sequence lost it a little for me as this was too close to Rocky Montages and they will never be beaten.  My Brother and Cousin completed the Ironman Bolton a few week ago and the night before, to psych themselves up, they watch Rocky training montages on youtube.  This cannot be repeated and definitely not with a rap score.

Southpaw is a modern day Rocky, pretty much down to the letter, but there is nothing wrong with that, but being a little more cliched than anticipated, it is not perfect.

Maggie

26th July 2015: 20:10: Bolton

This is not a Zombie-Movie

Devoid of colour, a feeling of real gloom, and the inevitable passing of a loved one.  Maggie is more a film about terminal illness in the family rather than the zombie apocalypse.

A viral outbreak that causes humans to slowly degenerate into flesh eating zombies over the course of 8 weeks has hit the planet.  Crops are being burnt as a way of trying to restore agriculture, quarantines are set up to euthenise the infected in a humane manner and work on a cure is pointless.  The whole world seems bleak and this is reflected in the cinematography.  There are many shots of landscapes, the family home and the colours are brown, grey, dull and paletteless, yet there always seems to be a splash of colour somewhere as if there is a glimmer of hope.

When Wade's (Schwarzenegger's) daughter is bit by an infected, he is given the option to take her home and care for her before quarantine, but knowing that the inevitable is on the horizon, Wade opts to care for her till the last moment.  Knowing that his daughter is dying and trying to give her the best possible "end-of-life".  She goes out with friends for a final party and one of the other kids is also infected, there is a pretty gruesome scene with appendage decay but it is handled well, and as Maggie (Abigail Breslin) reaches the final stages of her life and the contagion becomes a threat to the family, Wade has to question his motives.

Abigail Breslin is brilliant as usual and with her there are no faults, Joely Richardson plays her step mother and where I thought she would be running away from Maggie she always seems to be running towards her helping, although, she has not aged well.  It has been a while since I have seen a film with Joely, but I was a little shocked.  The only flaw, and believe me I am a massive fan, was Mr Schwarzengger himself, not his acting, because he pulls out all the stops to get it right, and does.  Arnold is a big, hulking Austrian with a thick Austrian accent, he himself does not fit into the American farming family and the character of Wade could have been played by any other actor, I am at a loss as to why Mr. S was chosen apart from having a big name attached to the property.

Maggie was a moving film for me, I knew from going into the cinema that it was not going to be a zombie film and this helped me prepare.  Upon leaving, the two guys in front of me exclaimed, "Well, that was sh*t".

Zombie fans need stay away, this is not your type of film.

The Gallows

22nd July 2015: 21:30 - Bolton

Freddy has his glove, Jason has his machete, Charlie has his noose.  If you are going to reference classic, nostalgic, horror films in your trailer, then you have big boots to fill.

20 years after a horrific accident during a school play, students at the same high school resurrect the failed show in a misguided attempt to honour the anniversary of the tragedy, but is there a presence lurking in the background with ulterior motives?

I saw the trailer below whilst watching Knock Knock and I will be honest to say, it freaked me out a little, it look very spooky.  The lighting was great, the heavy breathing and tone reminded me of The Blair Witch Project (for me, the film that started all this found footage horror - I know it was Cannibal Holocaust, but BWP put the genre mainstream).  I was excited to go see the film, but then there is the trailer quotes, "Scared the living hell outta me" and "So Scary....it's hard to watch" which always fill me with trepidation that the quote is taken out of context or "one person said it so we can use it".

The first character we meet, Ryan, who is the camera man, is one of the most unlikable characters ever.  He is a bully to everyone and I was hoping for him to meet his maker within minutes of the film starting.   I am unsure if this is the intention as it was played for laughs to start with, but his girlfriend is very similar and the main character who is playing the unfortunate role in the play is again, dull. boring and pointless.  In fact, I was hoping for them all not to make it to the first act!

As for "Charlie", when you relate him to classics such as Jason, Freddy and Micheal I expect something, I want something memorable.  These three have been around for nearly 40 years and their names are iconic and rarely matched, and Charlie does not come close.

The Blumhouse trademark jump scare was evident throughout and had very little impact, and the infamous Paranormal Activity bass line before every attempt made it even more comical.

8 out of the 12 people in the cinema walked out of the showing and I endured it to the end only because I am a fan of film and horror, but there were a few moment I considered following them

Antman (3D)

17th July 2015: 18:30: Bolton

With script changes, director changes and all manner of issues in the production of this film, and the fact that Clare had stated from the first trailer that she didn't like the lead actor, we went into Antman with trepidation.

From the moment the film started, all the worry and anxiety towards the final product disappeared.  

Antman is an absolute delight to watch.  It fits in with the Marvel Universe well (which is why director Edgar Wright left) referencing many moments and even with a very entertaining cameo of one of the New Avengers.  The origin story flows well and has great characters throughout.  One thing I was not expecting to do was laugh as much as I did.  There are many moments that warranted a real good belly laugh, mainly down to Micheal Pena's character.  

Antman has been hailed as a heist movie with the main plot around stealing a mcguffin that will help them break into an impenetrable fortress to steal another mcguffin, but it feels like a good, solid superhero MCU film as well.

Unfortunately, the bad guy falls into the usual MCU issues, the heroes are really entertaining and great to watch where as the bad guys are just run-of-the-mill, bad because i'm bad.  Marvel has some really good bad guys, but they just don't seem to come across on screen as well. 

The "big" battle towards the end of the film is an absolute riot, with the Thomas the Tank Engine cameo (from the trailer) playing a hilarious threat

There are a few easter eggs in the film for the MCU geeks, from Spiderman to Hulk and the Avengers.  Also, make sure you stay through the credits till the end, there is a mid credit sequence and then a brief glimpse at a future MCU film at the very end.

The 3D worked well, as it was not a distraction for me, and actually added to the film.  I forgot I had the glasses on at certain points (which based on my Jurassic World review is a big thing).  

Micheal Douglas fits in really well with the story and seems to bring his usual acting chops, not just phoning in the performance just because he is a big name.  

I can definitely recommend Antman as a film to watch at the cinema and even in 3D if you don't mind paying the extra £££'s